What happened to my baby?

When I found out I was pregnant, I couldn't wait to cuddle my little baby. I watched other girls in my church snuggling with their newborn babies while waiting on Calvin to make his big debut. I imagined how I would hold him against me and love on him. I couldn't wait to rock him to sleep and just comfort him. Little did I know...

 

Calvin was going to be quite a different baby than what I expected. Our first 2 days in the hospital Calvin was silent. Not even a peep. But on our way home from the hospital, Calvin started to scream. And when I say scream I mean this baby has some pipes on him. He has cried from that day until now.

His first 3 months he cried when he was in his crib, he cried if I sat him in my lap, he cried if I laid him on the floor or put in in any kind of bouncy. It didn't matter what I did, he just cried ALL the time. We bought every toy imaginable to try to pacify this baby....and no success. We accepted the fact that if he was awake then pretty much he was screaming. And no, he didn't suffer from colic. I was sad that I couldn't hold him close and rock him. He would kick to get away at 2 weeks old!! But he did enjoy being carried...but NO sitting, you had to keep moving.

Around 4 months he started to calm down just a little bit. Mainly because he started sucking his thumb. He never would take a pacifier. He acted like I was slipping poison into his mouth! But in order to suck his thumb  he HAD to have a washcloth in the other hand that he would rub his face with. If you forgot the washcloth, it was game over. He would scream and scream until you got it right.

It was around 5 months that we realized the majority of the time that Cal cried, he wanted us to put him down and leave him alone. He did want to be able to see us but not always held. He finally ditched the washcloth and wanted his blanky. He started to enjoy being in a bouncy for about 20 minutes...then he was done. He is very difficult to entertain, he gets bored so fast with new toys and new activity gyms.

I finally realized that my son doesn't care to be held a lot. He LOVES going outside more than anything in the world. He instantly stops crying. He adores other little kids and likes to watch them play. He's not a happy, snuggly baby but he does laugh and smile frequently now. He has always seemed independent and kinda an introvert (wonder where he gets that from). I was sad that he never allowed me to snuggle him but I'm so proud of Cal's little unique personality. For the longest time i wondered "What happened to my baby"?

He always looks so somber